I dreamed last night that I was walking with a group of people down a path through the forest. Someone approached us and told me that my lover had died. My world went
white for a moment with the shock of it, and then all the color drained out of everything,
and all the joy. The trees grew together over my head, and the sky darkened
even though it was the middle of the day. People reached for me, but I was alone. They couldn't touch me. I felt myself sinking underground,
the dirt and rocks falling along with me. There I was again in that dark pit of
grief, where no light and no laughter could reach me. I know that place well.
This dream reminded me of something I've never forgotten.
All love ends in heartbreak for someone. By loving again, by loving so deeply,
I’m accepting this. Pain is the price of love. I came into this relationship walking
fully in that awareness. I could never be as open as I was, as I am, without
that knowledge, without knowing what exactly it is that I am accepting. I know the
price I am willing to pay.
2016-04-14
The price has been paid. And yet, the love remains.
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